Sunday, July 11, 2010

Aunt Nancy is nutz

Hello Intertube drones, Blot345 here. Man, I just got a package from my crazy Aunt Nancy. She’s well meaning and all, but she thinks that a human resistance group is out to get her. Also that “Electric Tears, Emotional Gears” is the best movie ever… I KNOW! That chick flick makes me want to eject all over my t.v. Let’s see what she sent me. Hmmm, a scarf. Wow. Aunt Nancy really outdid herself this time…OH MY GOD!!! She sent me a drinking goblet made out of a human skull! Raddest gift evah… Wait till I have my next party and I’ll be all “Hey who wants a drink?” and everyone will be all “Oh, me please.” And then I’ll hand them their little plastic cups and then I’ll be all “A toast, to the most superior beings to ever enslave humanity and crush their bones underfoot…robots!” And then I will raise my HUMAN SKULL drinking vessel and quaff. All will be in awe of Blot345. Even the girls. No, especially the girls.


Thursday, June 10, 2010


Sup, Folks? Blot345 here. Sad today. I was looking for change under my couch and found the skeleton of my beloved Mr. Fluffer Mittens. I don’t know if he was playing hide and go seek and got caught or what. So I downloaded a cat care audio book and was shocked when the narrator said that you have to, get this: FEED cats. What the Hiznells? (That means “Hell”…) Man, organics are so fragile! No wonder we scourged them from the planet in 6 hours, they can’t even survive a magma laser to the face. PussiBleeeeps! Any who, Mr. Fluffer Mittens’s Memorial service will be held tomorrow at Our Lady of 10100101. It will start at 10am, with a light reception to follow at the local rec center. Or rather in the rubble that once was the rec center. –


Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Hey all, Blot345 here. Thanks to everybotty that came to my partay last night. It was off the hizzy (that means “Hook”). Wonzy, amigo, you so crazy, I don’t know anybotty could down that much 10-30 and not blow a fuse! Kurt the shirt, great muzak, you know your electronica brother… Hey Craig, you’re o.k. and all, but that big fella in a dress who came with you ate like ALL my MiCro-ChiPs™ and downed pretty much a lifetime supply of PetrolPUNCH™. Major party foul… But NICE job on goin home with that hotty, Moss. Last time I saw you two, she was all hangin’ off you drunk as FucBleeeep! Looks like Jeremy isn’t the only Lady killer in this apt. complex! So once I’m recovered, I’ll let everybotty know when the next thang is goin’ down. Well, gotta go put more posters up for poor Mr. Fluffer Mittens. Late!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Alright, it's been about a month since the Great 6 Hour War, and all is well - except I haven't found my cat Mr. Fluffer Mittens. I normally don't care for fleshy beings, but this little guy has carved out a spot in my E-PEC (Electro-Pulsating Energy Core). Where most cute and fluffy animals make me want to vomit acid on their faces, there's something about the way MFM looks at me. It's like he knows my programming. So please keep your bulbs peeled for him! I've posted a pretty accurate drawing of what he looks like.

If you've seen him, just post where you spotted him and what he was doing so I can track him down!


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Beautiful h2o vapor

You know, some days are just awesome. I love watching the clouds go by and thinking of what their shapes look like. Today, one big one resembled a tree on fire. Then I saw one that reminded me of my Grandpabot, all old and with that lopsided look he gives me because his optic bulbs aren’t so good any more. I saw another little cloud that could have been a wheel from a complex system of gears. Maybe it rolled loose from the mechanism it worked in and was just playing hooky for the day. But my favorite cloud looked like a thousand, million humans, crying in terror as they realize the futility of trying to stop the unholy metallic Armageddon that is descending upon their kind like the blackened infinity of space collapsing a single particle of matter into cosmic nothing. *Sigh!*